Further Adventures in Hyrule

Röq is continuing their explorations of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. They’re getting concerned that there aren’t as many triangles in this one as they were hoping for. There are these stone things that look like the number 9 (“Number 9… number 9…”) but they aren’t the same at all. It seems like it’s a bad idea to eat one, especially. (Spoilers?) Not that Röq is considering eating triangles. Although pizza slices might be considered kind of like triangles. Mmm… triangles.

Speaking of spoilers, there are some minor ones in this post, but nothing huge.

At least try to dodge! I feel bad about smacking you around. Even black bokoblin puts up more of a fight!

The Yiga are pretty hapless in this game. I kind of love them? They definitely know how to have a good time, doing donuts in their underground bases in devices with ridiculous designs, and names like Flamecrusher and Doommachine. They aren’t any more effective than in the first game, and in fact may actually be weaker.

It’s pretty creepy that they choreographed Kohga’s tantrum though.
(wave wave) “I see, so the Einstein-Bose condensate is effectively a fifth state of matter, I understand perfectly now!”

Link can say so much with a wave and a shrug. He must have taken mime classes or something.

And now, the musical stylings of Marot the Zora:

“Hm hm-hmm… Hum hm-hmm… yay!”

I don’t know why I fixate on fish lady’s song, but I do. I’m glad it’s the same between games.

The Pants of Doom! Don’t ask why they’re dark though, you, uh, you don’t want to know.
Someone tell Sega, Nintendo ripped off their title!

Rauru, our benefactor from the ancient past, has, uh, a questionable sense of humor:

EDIT: For some reason, this video has gotten over 300,000 views on Youtube. Wow.

What purpose does this serve? And this is a bit of a spoiler, but….

Why do we even have to do shrine puzzles this time? In Breath of the Wild there was the sense that the Sheikah monks were training Link up to face the Calamity, but these shrines, that suddenly appeared right on cue, we know that Rauru made them, and that he knows who they’re for. Link’s already a hero. Rauru knows it, Zelda went back in time and told him. “Seals the darkness” my Hylian ass, the shrines exist to give Link the orbs he needs to heal up from Ganondorf’s mummy attacking him at the start of the game, and he’s still the only person who can enter them. If you know already he’s the Chosen One, there’s no reason to make him jump though hoops. Just hand over the round sparkly, he has a realm to save.

Don’t get me started on why Link have to give them to the goddess statues to get healed. What do they get out of it? Why does Link have to serve as middle-elf? This magical economy, it makes no sense.