Back when Nintendo was a little freer about licensing their games and characters out to other companies, Hudson Soft released for Japanese home computers a strange variation of Mario Bros. (different from their strange variation of Super Mario Bros.), called Punch Ball Mario Bros. It’s pretty strange.
An example of its strangeness, recently pointed out on Bluesky by Mario obscurities blog Supper Mario Broth, and boosted by Ars Technica’s Kyle Orland. It turns a simple scenario in which two plumbers try to clear pests out of a sewer into the story of humankind’s rise as a tool-using species. Image from Supper Mario Broth and text pasted from the Mario Wiki. Check this out!
いつの頃だろうか、人類が道具を持つようになったのは……。初めは動物
の骨、石のかけらを利用した単純なものであった。人類は英知をふるい、道 具を改良していった。それが、火を使い、風を利用し、そして今では原子力 をも駆使し、高度な文明を築き始めたのである。 だが、ある一方ではまだ石を利用しているだけの人々もいるのである。彼 らはどのようにして獲物をとり、外敵から身を守るのであろうか。彼らは強 力なジャンプ力と石の玉を持っているだけである。それをうまく利用し、彼 らの身を守って欲しい。 ここに、そういった人々のうちの２人を紹介しよう。そう、彼らの名前は マリオとルイージ。彼らが高度な文明を身につけるのはいつになるのだろうか。
At some point, humans gained the ability to use tools… At first, they were simple things using the bones of animals and fragments of rock. Using their wisdom, humans improved their tools. Harnessing fire, wind, and nowadays even atomic energy, they began to build up a sophisticated culture.
On the other hand, however, there are people who still only use stone. How do they catch game and defend themselves from outsiders? Using only their strong jumping power and stone spheres. They use those skillfully to defend themselves.
Here, we introduce two such people. It seems their names are Mario and Luigi. Will they ever learn about sophisticated culture?
Will Mario and Luigi ever learn about sophisticated culture, or are they the same as the lowly, technology-hating hedgehog, bandicoot, and bone-headed caveman? Time will tell.
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