Year: 2025

Nintendo Direct 4/2/2025: The Switch 2

Nintendo’s last direct was just a few days ago, and now they have another one, one devoted to their next console, the Switch 2, and /wow/, the internet consensus on it seems pretty harsh. It’s coming out June 8th, and it’ll cost $449 dollars in the US. I mean sure, the awful tariffs of a certain Orange Person may play a role in that, but it’ll also sell for about that amount in the much-less-stupid European Union. It’s an unexpected move, considering that the Switch line is widely seen as underpowered compared to its competition. I personally am scheming and trying to figure out how to fit it into my finances when it arrives in just two months, on June 5th.

But I’m putting the commentary up front, instead of where it belongs, as part of an in-sequence point-by-point reaction to the video. But about those….

Set Side B updates every day at 10 AM US Eastern Time. I like that the site updates in the morning, but not too early, to give people a chance to come to it throughout the day. But this poses a problem with responding to Nintendo Directs, which tend to appear at nearly the least opportune time, right when the blog updates.

We could change our posting time when Directs hit, and may end up doing that. But honestly, up-to-the-minute commentary that tries to get in ahead of other sites isn’t our forte. That’s the kind of thing tryhard sites, who can afford a whole team of writers, SEO, and flashy sports cars for their upper management, would do. We’re a tiny three-person operation, and I rather think that’s some of our charm.

Because of this, instead of responding to everything in the video, or even trying to, here’s just my comments on certain highlights.

So, here is that video (1 hour):

There’s also an Ask The Developer article on Nintendo’s website with more information.

The first game up is

Mario Kart World

Right off the bat, it’s never been more obvious than in Mario’s initial “Lets-a go!” that Charles Martinet’s time as Mario’s voice is over.

I have quite a lot, the most of the whole show, to say about this game, but it’s of an aspect of it that few remark upon or even care about. I’m going to save all of that for tomorrow, in fact, since it’s way off the subject. Please look forward to it. (bows)

In the meantime, features include free roaming, “knockout races,” cross country races and up to 24 karts in a race. More details… argh… in yet another Nintendo Direct, on the 17th.

Presenters this time out: Kouichi Kawamoto (Producer), Takuhiro Dohta (Director) and Tetsuya Sasaki, Hardware Design Lead. Nice to see people who actually worked on the system!

Hardware Features

  • GameChat, activated by the new C Button, for voice communication between players, and with optional game screen sharing
  • Camera accessory for facetime-style chatting (didn’t we have that back on the Wii-U? but this works during games)
  • GameChat requires a Switch Online membership, but will be free unti March 31 2026.
  • Local Multiplayer with only one copy of a game. Clubhouse Games is used as an example; it’s really a feature that it should have shipped with, IMO, but better late than never.
  • Larger screen, 1080p support on built-in screen
  • 4K resolution when docked, up to 120fps
  • HDR support
  • magnetic Joy Cons (we knew that)
  • Joy Cons can be used as mice (that too)
  • built-in adjustable stand (and that)
  • an extra USB C port
  • 256GB built-in storage
  • fan built in to the dock

Interestingly, Switch backward compatibility is only supported with “compatible” games, implying some games aren’t compatible.

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour

A game made specifically to show off the system features. The internet has been complaining greatly about the fact they’re charging for it, when it serves little purpose other than to show off the hardware.

Other Notes

Switch 2 uses the same shape of cards as Switch 1 games, but support faster data transfer.

Of special note, Switch 2 only works with Micro SD Express cards. This means current cards will very likely not work with the system, regardless of their capacity! This is going to bite lots of people, count on it. You may not even be able to get non-Nintendo branded SD Express cards for a while, and you can bet they’ll be charged at a premium. Pretty damn crappy, Nintendo.

There’s a new Pro Controller with extra buttons. No info on if Switch 1 Pro Controllers will work. My guess is they will (Nintendo has gotten better about controller compatibility in recent years), but of course they won’t have the new features like C button, and new programmable GL and GR buttons.

Paid Upgrades

A paid upgrade to Super Mario Party Jamboree that offers new features. The business with paid upgrades will become a theme throughout the show.

Zelda Notes is a Switch 2 specific feature in upgraded versions of Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. It works in conjunction with the smartphone Switch App to mark locations of interest in the game, and lets you share your TotK constructions via QR code. Interesting, but it doesn’t seem like a feature that needs Switch 2 hardware to support it?

Kirby in the Forgotten Land gets an upgrade that adds a second story, which seems like a more suitable use for a paid feature.

Metroid Prime 4 and Pokemon Legends Z-A are both getting Switch and Switch 2 editions. This would seem to imply that Nintendo suspects the Switch 2 won’t see tremendous uptake immediately, and are hedging their bets.

Upgraded Switch 2 versions of prior-owned Switch games are being sold as “Upgrade Packs.” The end of an era: at long last, Nintendo has abandoned the “Pak” spelling.

Other Games

DRAGxDRIVE: A mouse-controlled wheelchair-based basketball game with stunts. A cool idea honestly! May end up being the ARMS of the Switch 2, which isn’t a bad thing, I think.

I’m going to skip commenting on some of these, I’ll just list them out: Elden Ring Tarnished Edition, Hades 2, Street Fighter 6, with Switch 2 exclusive modes, Daemon X Machina: Titanic Scion, Split Fiction, Hogwarts Legacy.

EA Sports, the company I most love to hate, is also releasing games on Switch 2

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3+4 is a remake of two classic skateboarding games. I observe that skateboarding video games have, over the years, evolved into something that’s not really a lot like real-world skateboarding? They’re more like exploratory games with tricks added in and a coat of “hellow fellow kids” paint? Boarders don’t seem to be affected by realistic gravity, and regularly grind on services that no physical being could rightly grind upon. Anyway, near the end there’s a “A Few Moments Later” card stolen directly from Spongebob Squarepants, and the copyright notices for the game mention Spongebob, so I guess he’s making a Shrek-like appearance.

Hitman: World of Assassination: Signature Edition, now with added James Bond, Bravely Default, Yakuza 0: Director’s Cut.

Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Imprisonment again asks us to imagine an alternate universe where you can make the events of a game we’ve already played not happen, or at least I presume it will. It looks like Zelda may be the main character this time; it takes place in the past she time traveled to in TotK, so Link might not even be in it.

Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack on Switch 2 to get Gamecube games: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Soulcalubur II (the one with Link in it) and F-Zero GX (the really really hard one Amusement Vision made, during the fifteen seconds during which they bubbled up from the surface of Sega). Others promised for future: Super Mario Sunshine, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness, Super Mario Strikers, Chibi-Robo, Luigi’s Mansion, Pokémon Colosseum. They also promise a Gamecube-styled wireless controller. Isn’t that properly called a Wavebird? We don’t know if the Smash Bros GC adapter will work with it yet.

Deltarune Chapters 1-4: A predictably silly trailer, but that’s why we love Toby Fox. To be available on launch day! To some, this will be the biggest announcement in the show, and I’ll admit I’m looking forward to it.

Borderlands 4, Civilization VII (Offers a paid upgrade from the Switch version, but it’s to get mouse controls, argh!), WWE 2K & NBA 2K, Survival Kids, Enter The Gungeon 2, Starseeker: Astroneer Expeditions, Cyberpunk 2077 Ultimate Edition, Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade (keep milkin’ that cash cow, Squeenix), Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess, Hollow Knight: Silksong, Story of Seasons: Grand Bazaar, Goodnight Universe, Two Point Museum, Wild Hearts S, Witchbrook, Puyo Puyo Tetris 2S, (inhale).

Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma, Marvel Comic Invasion, Star Wars Outlaws, Nobunaga’s Ambition: Awakening Complete Edition, Fast Fusion, Shadow Labyrinth (yep, the grimdark Pac-Man reboot), RAIDOU Remastered: The Mystery of the Soulless Army, No Sleep For Kaname Date — From AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES, REANIMAL, Fortnite (were you expecting it not?), Arcade Archives 2 Ridge Racer, Professor Layton and The New World of Steam, Tamagotchi Plaza, Human Fall Flat 2, The Duskbloods (From Software)

And my favorite part of the whole show even though we learned very very little about it besides that it releases this year:

KIRBY AIR RIDERS, directed by Masahiro Sakurai

Kirby Air Ride might be the most underrated game on the Gamecube, for while it doesn’t offer a Grand Prix or other campaign mode like nearly every other racing game, it does have City Trial, one of the best multiplayer experiences on the Gamecube. If you attended DragonCon in 2023 and went to one of their Gamecube nights, you might well have seen me playing Air Ride there! If all Air Riders offers is a greatly upgraded City Trial, perhaps with more than one city to explore, then it’ll be well worth the purchase price, and Sakurai is smart enough to recognize its greatness so I think we’re in good hands.

The last game was Donkey Kong Bananza. A new 3D DK title with destructable terrain. It also uses the updated Donkey Kong design, but it really works here, Donks shows a lot more personality and expressiveness here than he has since before DKC.

Magenta Horizon Review

This is a review of Magenta Horizon played with a press key. After I recorded this review, the developer updated the tutorial with a new version, but I have not had a chance to go back and play through it.

Recovered: Furnitures the Great Brown Oaf

It’s April 1st again, and I’ve taken to doing a change of pace post on this day every year. Two years ago, it was a plea for returning to the old days of the web, or at least the good, rose-colored parts of it. Last year, well, I forgot last year.

I want to return to the subject of the OldWeb. It is certainly true that it was fairly exclusionary, the home of a lot of sexism, and a bit of racism (although, I think, not as much as recently, at least not overtly). But there was also the feeling that, if you just went out and created something silly and wonderful, that it would find its audience, somehow.

If you go out looking for lists of old websites, you might happen upon this one. Don’t follow it yet: it uses a word that it probably shouldn’t, and you shouldn’t take this link as an endorsement for that. The reason I link it is that it’s a big long list of fun websites.

I checked through the list, and something like 95%, 19-in-20, of them are broken links, completely different sites, or squatted domain names. There are a handful that survive, but they’re in the minority. So it goes. Someone who cares could possibly hunt up old archived versions from out of the mighty Wayback Machine.

Many of the links, well, not many people will weep for them, but there was one site in particular of which I rued the passing: the homepage of Furnitures, the Great Brown Oaf. This guy:

Hey kids, it’s Furnitures! The Spongebob who never was!

Have you ever seen such a charming drawing? Don’t answer that: you probably have. But I think there’s a lot to like for this creature-thing. His coarse fur, his too-wide smile, and his vacant expression.

Furnitures is the star of a children’s show, called Furnitures the Great Brown Oaf. It is a show that doesn’t exist, has never existed, and unless the nature of the world changes substantially will probably never exist. Despite these facts, a person called Henry Stokes created a fansite for it.

Somewhere Henry called the show “slightly demented,” and that fits. In its backstory, an “anonymous philanthropist” found Furnitures (actually a sea mammal) in his travels, and was so charmed by it that he captured it and dragooned it into hosting a kids’ show, despite the fact that Furnitures is only vaguely aware of its surroundings.

Furnitures was last seen on the living internet in 2009. But… on the site was an email address for its creator. And I tried emailing that address. And surprisingly, I got a response. Henry Stokes is not only still with us but he answers his email!

I told him of my fond memories of the (very weird) website, and asked if I could revive it. And he said yes!

So I have. I have dredged up the files for the fake-fansite for fake-show Furnitures, the Great Brown Oaf, removed the edits made by the Internet Archive, further modified them to (slightly) adhere to modern web practices, and put it all up on Neocities, a wonderful free host for silly little web projects like this one, in the mode of late, lamented Geocities.

If you want to have a look, just go here! You might enjoy it for a few minutes! Maybe the obsession will, like a contagious disease, leap from me to you, and the legend of Furnitures will live on! Someday, when Henry Stokes and I are gone, and Neocities has shut down, as it someday must, maybe one of you will remember this site, and revive it again. It’s already the first hit on Google for “Furnitures the Great Brown Oaf,” whereas before it was mostly sites selling housewares.

If we work together like this, Furnitures the Oaf may have a lifetime longer than any of us. This Great creature will grow and, have a reality greater than any human being, which would be an awesome thing for a totally made up being to be.

So please, follow my link, and let the invented Oaf and his friends live in your brain, as it does mine. Despite his size, he doesn’t take up much room.

Yetso the Fiend, a pirate, who has a baboon for a heart. (The character does, not the actor who plays him.)

The Switch Has A Web Browser You Can’t Use

It’s true. It’s meant for things like WiFi login pages and displaying online manuals, but it doesn’t have a field for entering URLs yourself.

Seems unfair to me, but I suppose they thought everyone has a smartphone these days. (Until recently, I didn’t!) And I understand the web browser was a persistent security hole for the Wii-U. So while they include a web browser in the Switch for those reasons, it’s locked-off from the users. It’s still a security risk, mind you.

Now, a weird thing about the Switch is it’s multitasking system. The OS reserves a large portion of its memory for an “applet.” This is one of a number of system programs intended to provide a number of services to the user and running game software. Each of the round button options on the Home menu starts up an applet. The eShop is an applet. The system keyboard is an applet. And the web browser is an applet.

One thing about the applets is only one can run at a time! Games can actually run in the background while the Home menu and an applet are open, but if a game calls upon the system keyboard to enter text, then you go to the Home menu and open something else, the keyboard will stop. When you return to the game, it’ll have to be restarted.

It’s all explained in James-Money’s 13 minute video, Understanding the Nintendo Switch Browser: