F-Zero 99 User Names, Good and Bad

I’m trying to ease up on Youtube links, which I’ve come to realize take up a lot of the content of this blog by weight. I probably won’t be too successful at this, as it’s become a lot harder to find interesting written content on the internet, though it was never really easy.

I’ve been playing a lot of F-Zero 99 lately. I’ve been working on posts introducing the game, which is really great I think, but that kind of content (ugh the C word) takes time to write and check.

So in the meantime, enjoy/cringe at this collection of fun, and bad, handles spotted in the game. Of course, such a determination of quality is inherently subjective. But I think you’ll find that its lack is easier to adjudicate.

  • Ganondoof,
  • ◆El Guapo◆ (I like to think it’s a Cat Town reference)
  • Hootcifer (Owl House)
  • Valnar (Grandia II)
  • Ghost Cake
  • POWBlock
  • GimmieFife
  • ManChild30 (ah, honesty)
  • Snautilus
  • Gaudimann
  • SmileyBone (a Bone fan I see)
  • adorabunny
  • Mamasaurus
  • GIANTROBOT (there’s something to be said for pure enthusiasm)
  • Damitbobby
  • SnickerRoo
  • AAAAAAAAAH (I counted the As to make sure I wrote it right)
  • MissHeart (speaking for all the fem names in this list, takes a lot of guts to express girliness in this environment even if there’s no voice chat)
  • Moi
  • Cheesemage
  • Flarky (it’s fun to say!)
  • Chibi-Nini
  • LordFeh
  • Espurrator
  • GudNameGuy
  • Goooose
  • PixieVolt
  • Malo (taking time off from his shop)
  • Need4Sneed
  • Boisterous
  • Apostrophe
  • fax-kun
  • koppa (I hope this was intended as a Shiren reference)
  • HALLOWEEN! (I assume they only play one day a year)
  • Frizbeee
  • Bubbline
  • Orcustra
  • Lonk (a fellow GDQ viewer)
  • PeterMeh
  • lovemykids (I assume this is a pure statement of affection and not a demand)
  • TheKraggle (Lego Movie references are welcome)
  • DadMode7
  • SisterDoom
“Waddle DIO always comes first!”

Obnoxious names, much less in number thankfully:

  • Hugh Jass
  • BON9ERMan
  • Gotenks (what is this, 2002?)
  • Jeb Bush (what is this, 2016? and terrible?)
  • Wet Shart (I am opposed to this word and all that it stands for)
  • MAGA KING (Please go jump in a hole until your brain develops, if it ever will)

F-Zero 99 is not a fitting stage for such lusers. Get out of here with that sub-Sephiroth378 crap.

Don’t be like MAGA KING. If you’re going to be ignorant, at least have the decency to be quiet about it–also, less importantly, maybe try not sucking at F-Zero 99 so bad lol.

Note: while Nintendo continues to gamely update their blocklists to prevent newly-discovered ways to express slurs, they aren’t perfect, and I’ve seen a couple of outright offensive names. Those don’t even get the dignity of being present in my list of bad handles.

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