While the original Mac isn’t often considered a top gaming platform, there were neverthless some very nice games for it. One of those was John Calhoun’s classic shareware title Glider. (Glider can be played on Infinite Mac’s emulation of System 6—look in the Games folder in the Infinite Mac disk on the Desktop. The source code is on GitHub.)
Glider 4.0 (B&W mode)
Calhoun had a lot of fun just making prototypes for new Mac games, and so while he didn’t release many there are a number of half-made ones that he’s now put up in their own GitHub repository. Elite-inspired space exploration games, a computer version of the classic Black Box puzzle, a computer aquarium and other ideas are among the presented experiments.
The title of the repo is Unfinished Tales Vol. 1, and there’s already a Volume 2. There really has never been a game playing or development platform like the classic Macintoshes, it’s a window into a lost era of both computing and entertainment. Cameron Talley on Youtube made a 13 minute examination of some of their contents. This is it:
Sundry Sunday is our weekly feature of fun gaming culture finds and videos, from across the years and even decades.
Everyone loves Stardew Valley, and its engaging and quirky denizens! Whether it’s alcoholic bus driver Pam, or horny mayor Lewis, or Pierre the Capitalist, or the evil corporation you can let take over the town, or that one person who’s like that. Sure, you know, that one!
Many of the personable and mathematically romanceable characters of Stardew Valley can be spotted in Emmanomia‘s STARDEW VALLEY ANIMATION (3 minutes). Here:
A little bit more about the Switch 2? Sure why not?
First thing. I’ve mentioned this on social media, and I want to spread the word as much as I can about it, because this is going to catch people by surprise, and this way as many will find out about it going in as possible. In addition to costing $450 at launch, $500 with bundled Mario Kart World, and possibly more if Trump’s moronic tariffs stick, as stated in the direct, the Switch 2 uses a special incompatible variant of Micro SD cards, called Micro SD Express.
They’ve been out for a while, but uptake has been slow, mainly because their chief benefit is transfer speed, and Micro SD is fast enough for most purposes. But since its use in the Switch’s has been a performance bottleneck, Nintendo went with SD Express, which has the advantage of being faster, but the disadvantages of being both way less ubiquitous, easy to confuse with normal Micro SD cards, and of course, being more expensive. Ars Technica did a rundown, revealing that Micro SD Express cards are actually more expensive than SSDs at an equivalent price-per-gigabyte. It’s not a proprietary format, but consider that it’s possible that the only SD Express cards you’ll be able to find in a store that you buy your Switch from will be Nintendo-branded, and more expensive, it feels like it effectively is proprietary for now.
How to tell a standard Micro SD card from a Micro SD Express card? Express cards have an EX logo on their label, and they also have more contacts, as shown by this illustration from an SD Association whitepaper:
It’s true the Switch 2 has much more internal storage than the Switch. But many users will also be bringing their Switch digital libraries with them, meaning it’s possible for that storage to be full on day one. I have a 256 SD in my Switch, and I already have to make hard decisions about what I have installed and what I leave in “the cloud.” That will be my reality as soon as I transfer my eShop purchases to the Switch 2.
I mused a bit on Nintendo’s stating that the Switch 2 will be mostly backwards compatible with the Switch 1, meaning, not everything on the original Switch will work with it. What gives?
Nintendo has a page listing games that aren’t Switch 2 compatible. At first glance, it seems that all the issues are with games that are physically incompatible. Like, the Labo VR Kit isn’t compatible, because the Switch 2 is larger than the Switch 1, and it can’t actually fit into the cardboard goggles. Several other Labo kits are similarly “incompatible.” WarioWare Move It is mostly compatible, but the Switch 2 JoyCons don’t have the infrared camera the right JoyCon on the Switch 1 has. You can still pair Switch 1 JoyCons with a Switch 2 though, so if you have them laying around you can still play IR-requiring games. This also affects Game Builder Garage and some Labo titles.
Ring Fit Adventure and Nintendo Switch Sports use accessories that you insert a Switch 1 JoyCon into, and Switch 2 JoyCons won’t fit into them. And 1-2-Switch has a unique issue: the Switch 2 has more subtle rumble, and it seems a 1-2-Switch minigame uses that rumble to communicate information to players, which could end up being an issue.
Some notable games on the not-starting list: a selection of NeoGeo and Arcade Archives titles, Another Crab’s Treasure, Fornite (although I suspect there will be a Switch 2 native version), Nintendo’s own Fitness Boxing, Doom Eternal, Pizza Tower(!) and River City Girls Zero. Some of the games that play, but with issues: two Tetris The Grand Master games from Arcade Archives, Factorio, Fall Guys, Mega Man Legacy Collection and Stumble Guys.
I originally wrote this as part of Wednesday’s Switch 2 Nintendo Direct, but it’s really a weird bit of esoterica, and ended up being fairly long too, so I split it off into this post.
MKW’s apparently an open world Mario game, and open world games need more world building than otherwise. What I am hoping is this means we’ll finally find out more about all these weird MK-universe advertisers than in the past. Does Mario actually own and run Mario Motors? Is Luigi the boss of a tire company? Will we get an explanation for Bowser competing in a (mostly) friendly manner against his eternal rivals? And…
Oh my stars and garters, how does this Toad DRIVE this vehicle? His eyes are right over the dashboard! Can his feet reach the pedals? It doesn’t seem like it was built for them, is this a common issue for Mushroom Kingdom cars and trucks? And do they ever suffer collision damage from hitting big floating, rotating coins? Along those lines:
He’s just a workaday Koopa, driving for his job with Hammer Bros. Co., and woah it’s KING BOWSER himself driving right past, and in the same lane! And he appears to have gotten fashion tips from Hellboy with that Right Hand of Doom glove thing happening. Also gotta note that Bowser’s license plate is just his logo. “Yeah that’s me, any questions?”
Here’s more traffic, I assume the open world theme means there’ll be a lot more in the way of street vehicle obstacles. Mario Kart World certainly has some weird, and weirdly useable, cars. Vehicular ramps, blast barrels, and I assume that Bob-Omb car is a live explosive. Road safety in the Mushroom Kingdom is a joke.
Sexy! I give them points for working the Girders board (sorry, “25m”) into a track. But it looks like we’re again getting the same style of tricks as in prior MK games: the vehicle gets a burst of speed, the driver turns around and mugs for the camera, and vroom vroom. Doesn’t seem too safe to me. Also, it looks like DK’s redesign for the movie has stuck.
My favorite element of the Mario Kart series, which I believe I’ve mentioned here before, are all the Mario-themed corporate sponsors, which suggest that not only are the characters race drivers, but also own their own auto supply and repair companies, and other companies besides. They’re all businesspeople! It’s a capitalist hellscape of their own devising!
Besides Mario Motors and Luigi Tires, among the MK businesses spotted are Koopa Construction (slogan, “High Quality You Can Trust,” how boring), Peach Resort (also a track name), a company called Dash (“Accelerate the Fun”), Waluigi Vintage Clothing (that’s more backstory than we’ve ever gotten for him), Wario Games (nice tie-in!), Fuzzy Batteres, Royal Motors (don’t know if that’s Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, or some combination; it’s tagline is “Supersonic Primeness”), Dolphin Marine Sports, Nabbit Courier Service(?), Garlic Power, Red Shell Speed Tires, what I think is Yoshi’s Cookies, Premium Scrap, 1UP Fuel, and there’s Bowser, Buzzy Beetle, Lava Bubble, Shy Guy, Chain Chomp, Fire Flower and just “Banana” (“Let one slip!”) companies I couldn’t make out the full names of, and the return of MKTV, which uses what looks like the eyes of Cappy, from Mario Odyssey, in their logo, but they’re probably Lakitu’s goggles—although Lakitu is a driver now.
There’s also THIS:
It’s the counterpart to The Mother Of All POW Blocks from the end of Super Mario 3D World! It is written in the Book of Mysteries, of the GREAT QUESTION BLOCK OF DOOM, the hitting of which will trigger the end of all things. Drive carefully, competitors.
This is probably my favorite track, a spooky horror movie track with big pictures of Peach throughout. You can’t see it in this shot but there’s a big black castle in the background and bats flying around.
Moo Moo Meadows not only returns as a track, but it seems like it’s been set within the Mario Kart World map! Are there differences? Are other retro tracks returning?
Also, a cow is a driver now. And it rides a boom box. Why not just make everything a kart, and put anything on top of it? Maybe I shouldn’t give them any ideas.
Nintendo’s last direct was just a few days ago, and now they have another one, one devoted to their next console, the Switch 2, and /wow/, the internet consensus on it seems pretty harsh. It’s coming out June 8th, and it’ll cost $449 dollars in the US. I mean sure, the awful tariffs of a certain Orange Person may play a role in that, but it’ll also sell for about that amount in the much-less-stupid European Union. It’s an unexpected move, considering that the Switch line is widely seen as underpowered compared to its competition. I personally am scheming and trying to figure out how to fit it into my finances when it arrives in just two months, on June 5th.
But I’m putting the commentary up front, instead of where it belongs, as part of an in-sequence point-by-point reaction to the video. But about those….
Set Side B updates every day at 10 AM US Eastern Time. I like that the site updates in the morning, but not too early, to give people a chance to come to it throughout the day. But this poses a problem with responding to Nintendo Directs, which tend to appear at nearly the least opportune time, right when the blog updates.
We could change our posting time when Directs hit, and may end up doing that. But honestly, up-to-the-minute commentary that tries to get in ahead of other sites isn’t our forte. That’s the kind of thing tryhard sites, who can afford a whole team of writers, SEO, and flashy sports cars for their upper management, would do. We’re a tiny three-person operation, and I rather think that’s some of our charm.
Because of this, instead of responding to everything in the video, or even trying to, here’s just my comments on certain highlights.
So, here is that video (1 hour):
There’s also an Ask The Developer article on Nintendo’s website with more information.
The first game up is
Mario Kart World
Right off the bat, it’s never been more obvious than in Mario’s initial “Lets-a go!” that Charles Martinet’s time as Mario’s voice is over.
I have quite a lot, the most of the whole show, to say about this game, but it’s of an aspect of it that few remark upon or even care about. I’m going to save all of that for tomorrow, in fact, since it’s way off the subject. Please look forward to it. (bows)
In the meantime, features include free roaming, “knockout races,” cross country races and up to 24 karts in a race. More details… argh… in yet another Nintendo Direct, on the 17th.
Presenters this time out: Kouichi Kawamoto (Producer), Takuhiro Dohta (Director) and Tetsuya Sasaki, Hardware Design Lead. Nice to see people who actually worked on the system!
Hardware Features
GameChat, activated by the new C Button, for voice communication between players, and with optional game screen sharing
Camera accessory for facetime-style chatting (didn’t we have that back on the Wii-U? but this works during games)
GameChat requires a Switch Online membership, but will be free unti March 31 2026.
Local Multiplayer with only one copy of a game. Clubhouse Games is used as an example; it’s really a feature that it should have shipped with, IMO, but better late than never.
Larger screen, 1080p support on built-in screen
4K resolution when docked, up to 120fps
HDR support
magnetic Joy Cons (we knew that)
Joy Cons can be used as mice (that too)
built-in adjustable stand (and that)
an extra USB C port
256GB built-in storage
fan built in to the dock
Interestingly, Switch backward compatibility is only supported with “compatible” games, implying some games aren’t compatible.
Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour
A game made specifically to show off the system features. The internet has been complaining greatly about the fact they’re charging for it, when it serves little purpose other than to show off the hardware.
Other Notes
Switch 2 uses the same shape of cards as Switch 1 games, but support faster data transfer.
Of special note, Switch 2 only works with Micro SD Express cards. This means current cards will very likely not work with the system, regardless of their capacity! This is going to bite lots of people, count on it. You may not even be able to get non-Nintendo branded SD Express cards for a while, and you can bet they’ll be charged at a premium. Pretty damn crappy, Nintendo.
There’s a new Pro Controller with extra buttons. No info on if Switch 1 Pro Controllers will work. My guess is they will (Nintendo has gotten better about controller compatibility in recent years), but of course they won’t have the new features like C button, and new programmable GL and GR buttons.
Paid Upgrades
A paid upgrade to Super Mario Party Jamboree that offers new features. The business with paid upgrades will become a theme throughout the show.
Zelda Notes is a Switch 2 specific feature in upgraded versions of Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. It works in conjunction with the smartphone Switch App to mark locations of interest in the game, and lets you share your TotK constructions via QR code. Interesting, but it doesn’t seem like a feature that needs Switch 2 hardware to support it?
Kirby in the Forgotten Land gets an upgrade that adds a second story, which seems like a more suitable use for a paid feature.
Metroid Prime 4 and Pokemon Legends Z-A are both getting Switch and Switch 2 editions. This would seem to imply that Nintendo suspects the Switch 2 won’t see tremendous uptake immediately, and are hedging their bets.
Upgraded Switch 2 versions of prior-owned Switch games are being sold as “Upgrade Packs.” The end of an era: at long last, Nintendo has abandoned the “Pak” spelling.
Other Games
DRAGxDRIVE: A mouse-controlled wheelchair-based basketball game with stunts. A cool idea honestly! May end up being the ARMS of the Switch 2, which isn’t a bad thing, I think.
I’m going to skip commenting on some of these, I’ll just list them out: Elden Ring Tarnished Edition, Hades 2, Street Fighter 6, with Switch 2 exclusive modes, Daemon X Machina: Titanic Scion, Split Fiction, Hogwarts Legacy.
EA Sports, the company I most love to hate, is also releasing games on Switch 2
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3+4 is a remake of two classic skateboarding games. I observe that skateboarding video games have, over the years, evolved into something that’s not really a lot like real-world skateboarding? They’re more like exploratory games with tricks added in and a coat of “hellow fellow kids” paint? Boarders don’t seem to be affected by realistic gravity, and regularly grind on services that no physical being could rightly grind upon. Anyway, near the end there’s a “A Few Moments Later” card stolen directly from Spongebob Squarepants, and the copyright notices for the game mention Spongebob, so I guess he’s making a Shrek-like appearance.
Hitman: World of Assassination: Signature Edition, now with added James Bond, Bravely Default, Yakuza 0: Director’s Cut.
Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Imprisonment again asks us to imagine an alternate universe where you can make the events of a game we’ve already played not happen, or at least I presume it will. It looks like Zelda may be the main character this time; it takes place in the past she time traveled to in TotK, so Link might not even be in it.
Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack on Switch 2 to get Gamecube games: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Soulcalubur II (the one with Link in it) and F-Zero GX (the really really hard one Amusement Vision made, during the fifteen seconds during which they bubbled up from the surface of Sega). Others promised for future: Super Mario Sunshine, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness, Super Mario Strikers, Chibi-Robo, Luigi’s Mansion, Pokémon Colosseum. They also promise a Gamecube-styled wireless controller. Isn’t that properly called a Wavebird? We don’t know if the Smash Bros GC adapter will work with it yet.
Deltarune Chapters 1-4: A predictably silly trailer, but that’s why we love Toby Fox. To be available on launch day! To some, this will be the biggest announcement in the show, and I’ll admit I’m looking forward to it.
Borderlands 4, Civilization VII (Offers a paid upgrade from the Switch version, but it’s to get mouse controls, argh!), WWE 2K & NBA 2K, Survival Kids, Enter The Gungeon 2, Starseeker: Astroneer Expeditions, Cyberpunk 2077 Ultimate Edition, Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade (keep milkin’ that cash cow, Squeenix), Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess, Hollow Knight: Silksong, Story of Seasons: Grand Bazaar, Goodnight Universe, Two Point Museum, Wild Hearts S, Witchbrook, Puyo Puyo Tetris 2S, (inhale).
Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma, Marvel Comic Invasion, Star Wars Outlaws, Nobunaga’s Ambition: Awakening Complete Edition, Fast Fusion, Shadow Labyrinth (yep, the grimdark Pac-Man reboot), RAIDOU Remastered: The Mystery of the Soulless Army, No Sleep For Kaname Date — From AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES, REANIMAL, Fortnite (were you expecting it not?), Arcade Archives 2 Ridge Racer, Professor Layton and The New World of Steam, Tamagotchi Plaza, Human Fall Flat 2, The Duskbloods (From Software)
And my favorite part of the whole show even though we learned very very little about it besides that it releases this year:
KIRBY AIR RIDERS, directed by Masahiro Sakurai
Kirby Air Ride might be the most underrated game on the Gamecube, for while it doesn’t offer a Grand Prix or other campaign mode like nearly every other racing game, it does have City Trial, one of the best multiplayer experiences on the Gamecube. If you attended DragonCon in 2023 and went to one of their Gamecube nights, you might well have seen me playing Air Ride there! If all Air Riders offers is a greatly upgraded City Trial, perhaps with more than one city to explore, then it’ll be well worth the purchase price, and Sakurai is smart enough to recognize its greatness so I think we’re in good hands.
The last game was Donkey Kong Bananza. A new 3D DK title with destructable terrain. It also uses the updated Donkey Kong design, but it really works here, Donks shows a lot more personality and expressiveness here than he has since before DKC.
This is a review of Magenta Horizon played with a press key. After I recorded this review, the developer updated the tutorial with a new version, but I have not had a chance to go back and play through it.
It’s April 1st again, and I’ve taken to doing a change of pace post on this day every year. Two years ago, it was a plea for returning to the old days of the web, or at least the good, rose-colored parts of it. Last year, well, I forgot last year.
I want to return to the subject of the OldWeb. It is certainly true that it was fairly exclusionary, the home of a lot of sexism, and a bit of racism (although, I think, not as much as recently, at least not overtly). But there was also the feeling that, if you just went out and created something silly and wonderful, that it would find its audience, somehow.
If you go out looking for lists of old websites, you might happen upon this one. Don’t follow it yet: it uses a word that it probably shouldn’t, and you shouldn’t take this link as an endorsement for that. The reason I link it is that it’s a big long list of fun websites.
I checked through the list, and something like 95%, 19-in-20, of them are broken links, completely different sites, or squatted domain names. There are a handful that survive, but they’re in the minority. So it goes. Someone who cares could possibly hunt up old archived versions from out of the mighty Wayback Machine.
Many of the links, well, not many people will weep for them, but there was one site in particular of which I rued the passing: the homepage of Furnitures, the Great Brown Oaf. This guy:
Hey kids, it’s Furnitures! The Spongebob who never was!
Have you ever seen such a charming drawing? Don’t answer that: you probably have. But I think there’s a lot to like for this creature-thing. His coarse fur, his too-wide smile, and his vacant expression.
Furnitures is the star of a children’s show, called Furnitures the Great Brown Oaf. It is a show that doesn’t exist, has never existed, and unless the nature of the world changes substantially will probably never exist. Despite these facts, a person called Henry Stokes created a fansite for it.
Somewhere Henry called the show “slightly demented,” and that fits. In its backstory, an “anonymous philanthropist” found Furnitures (actually a sea mammal) in his travels, and was so charmed by it that he captured it and dragooned it into hosting a kids’ show, despite the fact that Furnitures is only vaguely aware of its surroundings.
Furnitures was last seen on the living internet in 2009. But… on the site was an email address for its creator. And I tried emailing that address. And surprisingly, I got a response. Henry Stokes is not only still with us but he answers his email!
I told him of my fond memories of the (very weird) website, and asked if I could revive it. And he said yes!
So I have. I have dredged up the files for the fake-fansite for fake-show Furnitures, the Great Brown Oaf, removed the edits made by the Internet Archive, further modified them to (slightly) adhere to modern web practices, and put it all up on Neocities, a wonderful free host for silly little web projects like this one, in the mode of late, lamented Geocities.
If you want to have a look, just go here! You might enjoy it for a few minutes! Maybe the obsession will, like a contagious disease, leap from me to you, and the legend of Furnitures will live on! Someday, when Henry Stokes and I are gone, and Neocities has shut down, as it someday must, maybe one of you will remember this site, and revive it again. It’s already the first hit on Google for “Furnitures the Great Brown Oaf,” whereas before it was mostly sites selling housewares.
If we work together like this, Furnitures the Oaf may have a lifetime longer than any of us. This Great creature will grow and, have a reality greater than any human being, which would be an awesome thing for a totally made up being to be.
So please, follow my link, and let the invented Oaf and his friends live in your brain, as it does mine. Despite his size, he doesn’t take up much room.
Yetso the Fiend, a pirate, who has a baboon for a heart. (The character does, not the actor who plays him.)
It’s true. It’s meant for things like WiFi login pages and displaying online manuals, but it doesn’t have a field for entering URLs yourself.
Seems unfair to me, but I suppose they thought everyone has a smartphone these days. (Until recently, I didn’t!) And I understand the web browser was a persistent security hole for the Wii-U. So while they include a web browser in the Switch for those reasons, it’s locked-off from the users. It’s still a security risk, mind you.
Now, a weird thing about the Switch is it’s multitasking system. The OS reserves a large portion of its memory for an “applet.” This is one of a number of system programs intended to provide a number of services to the user and running game software. Each of the round button options on the Home menu starts up an applet. The eShop is an applet. The system keyboard is an applet. And the web browser is an applet.
One thing about the applets is only one can run at a time! Games can actually run in the background while the Home menu and an applet are open, but if a game calls upon the system keyboard to enter text, then you go to the Home menu and open something else, the keyboard will stop. When you return to the game, it’ll have to be restarted.
Sundry Sunday is our weekly feature of fun gaming culture finds and videos, from across the years and even decades.
It’s a little old, but we do claim here that sometimes we’ll post things that are decades old. This one’s only five years of age.
It’s an animation of audio from a (adjusts glasses) “Kirby drama CD.” I don’t want to image what the rest of it is like, but this part at least is funny and adorable and pretty much keeping in Kirby’s character of being enthusiastic about everything. It’s only 45 seconds long:
Who set up Popstar’s phone service? This seems to be a land line! Did Waddle Dees build it? Did they contract it out to Magolor, who has set up a network of satellites Starlink-style? Did King Dedede pay for it? Is it a naturally occurring phone system? Who the heck knows, poyo!
Games From Scratch is a prolific Youtube channel dedicated to helping solo and small team gamedevs with tutorials and tools. They really do post frequently, so if I linked to everything they made it’d overwhelm the blog, but it’s been a while since I referred to them, and they just made a nice omnibus video of free tools. There is a sponsored section in it, but if that kind of thing bothers you I suggest using the browser extension SponsorBlock, which shows time-wasting sections on the Youtube timeline in different colors.
Well, there’s been another Nintendo Direct, yesterday it was. And while there wasn’t much news on the Switch 2, one of the announcements was that there will be another Nintendo Direct on April 2, in just five days, about it.
The presenter this time was (check Wikipedia) Senior Managing Executive and Corporate Director Shinya Takahashi. He has some charisma, but we’re still a long way from the days where Shigeru Miyamoto, Reggis Fils-Amie and Satoru Iwata would co-host, one time as puppets.
Sometimes I take one of these videos and I riff on the games revealed, and the specifics of their revelation. To remind: the narrator’s delivery style gives me a rash, so I’ll try not to bring that up for literally every trailer. Operation 2025 Snark Go (37 minutes)!
Cold Open: Dragon Quest I & II HD-2D Remake
After DQIII, these couldn’t be far behind, but it looks like substantial new content has been added, including a new character? The mainline series has been dropping references to the old Erdrick (a.k.a. Loto) games, maybe this connects to that?
Nintendo Direct for Switch 2 coming April 2
We already explained about this. I don’t know why they didn’t just pile it all into a single video, but it isn’t like people are going to miss out on the news.
No Sleep For Kaname Date – From AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES, from Spike Chunsoft
It’s a visual novel style mystery adventure from the people who brought us the Mystery Dungeon series. Of course, they’ve made lots of visual novels, but in my view that distracts from them making more Mystery Dungeon games. I’m a bit upset by the news that Shiren 6 sold like one-tenth what it has in Japan. What gives, y’all? Show them some love!
RAIDOU Remastered: The Mystery of the Soulless Army, from Atlus, out June 19
Atlus’s turn to make a Very Japanese Game. This one is a remake of a Playstation 2 entry in the Megami Tensei series. It stars a mystery-solving apprentice detective who can also summon devils to help him in turn-based battles. If he can summon devils, one is given to wonder, what does he need the trainee detective gig for? I guess consorting with the Underworld doesn’t put food on the table.
Shadow Labyrinth, from Bandai Namco
Those two games are fine, not my usual thing but I recognize their merits. But this one, I don’t know….
I feel like, for the most part, Bandai Namco doesn’t really know what to do with Pac-Man. Well, I can tell them what to do: make more Pac-Man Championship Edition! It’s that easy, oh and also police their high score tables much better for hacked plays, Pac-Man CE 2’s scoreboards are overloaded with impossible scores. Or else, maybe more Pac-Man World games? Getting their ducks in a row with GCC and getting back the rights to Ms. Pac-Man? Instead we have one of the least necessary games we’ve seen in many a generation: the dark and gritty reboot to Pac-Man.
“With your memories gone, you have been summoned to a strange, unfamiliar world… where you’re greeted by a yellow orb known as PUCK.” Oh brudder, ignoring that we’re talking about Pac-Fucking-Man, that’s three hoary game trailer clichés in one sentence!
“But who is this spherical stranger?” ITS PAC-MAN. ITS OBVIOUSLY PAC-MAN. EVEN IF IT ISN’T PAC-MAN FOR LORE REASONS, IT’S PAC-MAN.
“Moored in a mysterious, maze-like world…” AUGH “…your battle for survival begins.” The narrator is giving me a rash again.
“Experience a dark twist on the iconic Pac-Man…” JUST GIVE US PAC-MAN CE 3. THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NAMCO. Sincerely, someone who’s gotten in dozens of hours of every previous Pac-Man CE game.
Patapon 1+2 Replay, from Bandai Namco
Ah, this actually looks interesting! But wasn’t Patapon a Sony thing?
You guide a tribe of primitive shapes with big eyes through a rhythm-based battle game. You give orders to your troops by tapping different buttons in the right rhythm, and their attack power comes from your timing. The original Patas-pon were PSP games, and the Switch is kind of like a PSP in its way. I’m still surprised this isn’t on a Sony platform though.
Story of Seasons: Grand Bazaar, from Marvelous
Another Harvest Moon, this one for the Nintendo DS, given a trademark-unencumbered remake on the Switch. Predictably, you play as a young farmer trying to make a place for themself in a new town, growing their suspiciously large vegetables and milking their hippo-like cows. Eventually they can hook up with one of several eligible spouses, giving it the veneer of a dating sim.
It’s a formula that Stardew Valley more-or-less perfected, and Harvest Moon went to the well so many times that I wonder if the features are just permuted in different ways now, but the series has a lot of fans and they’re pretty amiable.
Metroid Prime 4: Beyond, from Retro Studios and Nintendo, some time in 2025
A lot of people are looking forward to this one, and we finally have some substantive information on it. In this one Samus gains yet another new suit, what is it five by now (how does she pee in those things?), and psychic abilities. Samus is already a super-powerful cyborg wearing a power suit with a half-dozen kinds of deadly beams, can inexplicably roll up into a ball, and can basically fly in some games. Now she can move things WITH HER MIND too? When she inevitably loses her power suit at some point during this game, will she get to keep her mind powers?
The problem with the Metroid series is, the most intersting thing about them is Samus, but the title is “Metroid,” so Metroids have to be in every game. Samus could carry a game that doesn’t have anything to do with Metroids! I mean, the main antagonists are called, just, “space pirates.” They don’t even have a name as a race! There’s been hints that the main series will stop featuring them, although what it’ll be called in the future isn’t clear. Anyway, there’s a creature like a Metroid in this one, so I guess they’ll have at least one last hurrah.
Disney Villains Cursed Café, from Disney Games, out now
My eyes are nearly rolling out of my head. It’s another attempt by Disney to take some trend and wring lucre out of it using their IP. This time it’s a small business sim, where you serve Disney villains “potions.” You’re a “potionista.” Since it’s an excuse to throw together characters from vastly different properties it has some crossover comedy potential. Ursula and Maleficent hang out around with the likes of Captain Hook and Cruella DeVille. You get many different kinds of evil all thrown together as if they were the same thing.
You buy your ingredients from Yzma, from The Emperor’s New Groove, which I think is kind of unfair. While later elaborations upon its milieu make her more of a villain, in the original movie she’s more of an anti-hero? Kuzco, as an uncaring emperor trying to tear down Pasha’s village, was the real villain, and Yzma’s plotting against him was arguably in service of the Inca kingdom.
Gaston is your assistant in the game, which raises the question… how evil are you? Are you planning on taking over the Disney world? Or maybe, Disneyworld?
Witchbrook, from Chucklefish, available Holiday 2025
Chucklefish, a publisher that consciously adopts pixel art as a theme, has a number of successful games, including Starbound and Wargroove, but their best-known game is one they no longer publish: Stardew Valley. Witchbrook looks like it has similarities, although it applies its grid-based aesthetic to a pseudo-Harry Potter setting. But it’s got the romancin’, and the four-player co-op’n. And given how J.K. Rowling has succumbed to Internet Poisoning lately, a game in that kind of universe that isn’t so tainted with anti-trans rhetoric will probably be welcome, if the very idea hasn’t been ruined by its association with her.
The Eternal Life of Goldman, THQ Nordic
The always-breathless narrator explains: “Action, adventure and arcade games await!” Arcades figure not at all in this title though, which is mostly a platformer with a hand-drawn look. “Set off on a fantastical mission to eliminate a mysterious deity in this hand-drawn platforming adventure you’re explore an expansive archipelago where nightmares and wonder collide!” You’re describing a video game, that’s like half of them! Other than the admittedly charming artwork, we just don’t know much about this one.
Gradius Origins, from Konami, August 7
ARGH the narrator pronounces it “gray-dius!” It’s “grah-dius,” I continue to insist! GRAH-DIUS!! I can accept a short A, but never a long one! The included games are the arcade versions of Gradius, Salamander, Life Force, Gradius II, Gradius III (oh frog) and Salamander 2. Shown off is the fact that Gradius III has multiple versions, which is welcome news since the original arcade release is infamous for its length and difficulty. The whole series also has terrific music; hopefully there will be a jukebox mode for players who can’t take G3’s infuriating gameplay.
The collection also includes a new game, Salamander 3! Okay, I have to get this now.
Rift of the NecroDancer, from Brace Yourself Games, out now
A more traditional kind of rhythm game than its roguelike predecessor. They appear to be approaching other indie games with great music for paid DLC packs. A Celeste music pack DLC is available immediately, and notably, Peppino from Pizza Tower was shown off in the trailer as an upcoming expansion. Pizza Tower had some of the best music in all of video gaming, so it’s worth looking forward to.
Tamagotchi Plaza, from Bandai Namco, June 27
Tamagotchi’s logo still has the egg virtual pet device in it. Do they even still make those things? I haven’t seen one in a store in the States in decades. Tamagotchi games are sometimes better than you’d expect, especially from a property that’s now two decades past its best-by date. As always, it looks like a meltdown of the Sanrio characters, and has that kind of feel to it.
Pokemon Legends Z-A, from Nintendo/Creatures/GAME FREAK, late 2025
I guess the various companies involved decided they weren’t getting enough billions of dollars lately. “You’ll begin your adventure by choosing one of three partner Pokémon!” Literally everyone who’s watching this already knows that! (By the way, all the many accent-Es in this piece are brought to you courtesy of the Compose Key.)
“To make it easier for humans and Pokémon to co-exist, a company called Quazartico Inc. is carrying out an urban redevelopment plan!” I wonder who the villains will be, hmm.
“If you’re spotted, they’ll challenge you to battle!” Has anyone in any Pokémon been able to resist accepting a Pokémon fight, even if their last ‘mon is down to Struggling? JUST SAY NO TO TURN-BASED SANITIZED COCKFIGHTING. And it’s still nearly the same battle system as shown way back in Pokémon Red and Blue! Haven’t they exhausted its strategic possibilities three times over by now?
Mega-Evolutions are returning. I guess it shows dedication to something to bring back a previously-used gimmick rather than coining another one.
One of the trainers challenging the protagonist in this one is Zach. Zach opens up saying: “Well, I won’t make it easy for you, because this taxi driver has a taxi dream! I’m going to reach Rank A and abolish all forms of transit in Lumiose—except taxis!” That’s like picking your mayor by whoever has the meanest dog!
Rhythm Heaven Groove, from Nintendo, 2026
This is one I can get excited over. Finally, Rhythm Heaven comes to Switch, and it seems to have a lot of new minigames. Don’t sleep on this one, itsmanyminigamesarehilarious.
News: Virtual Game Cards, coming late April
A way to play Switch games on more than one system. Basically, you can de-authorize a card on one system to play it on another system you own. An internet connection is required, but only when authorizing (“loading”) or deauthorizing (“ejecting”).
BUT. It only works on up to two systems without a family Switch Online account, which potentially expands the count by 8 more systems. Local wireless seems to be required, so far-flung families may have problems. And only one game can be lent to a given person at a time, and only for up to two weeks at a time. Seems like a whole lot of catches and exceptions. The system is confirmed to support the Switch 2
Quick previews:
High on Life, from Squanch Games, May 6
Star Overdrive, from Dear Villagers, April 10
The Wandering Village, from Stray Fawn Studio, July 17
King of Meat, from Glowmade, sometime in 2025
Lou’s Lagoon, from Megabit Publishing
Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time, from Level5, May 21
Saga Frontier 2 Remastered, from Square-Enix, out now
Monument Valley 1 & 2, ustwo games, April 15
Monument Valley 3 coming Summer
Everybody’s Golf: Hot Shots, Bandai
Marvel Cosmic Invasion, from Dotemu and Tribute, Holiday 2025
And:
Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream, Nintendo, 2026
Oooh, the prestigous last announcement this time goes to a series that hasn’t had a great amount of luck lately? It’s felt like Miis have been on the outs for a while. Tomodachi Life was last seen back on the 3DS, Miitomo on mobile lasted mere months, and Miitopia, while cool, didn’t build a lot of buzz. I’m glad Nintendo is giving both Miis and Tomodachi Life another chance, though it’s disappointing that it’s being announced so far in advance.
Nintendo Today app
Introduced by Shigeru Miyamoto himself, this is a smart device app that functions as a calendar, and presents daily Nintendo news and content. Huh, that sounds a bit familiar… ahem! It’s available for download now, and news on the Switch 2 will be presented through it as well as in the next Nintendo Direct, in five days.
