I had originally scheduled a post on this for a couple of weeks ago, but WordPress gained what I will euphemistically call a personality at that time, and the post developed a “critical error” whenever I tried to edit or view it. I kept pushing it back in the hopes of being able to figure out what was the trouble, but the trouble refused to be be figured out. So eventually I just remade the post.
Whether it’s intentional or not, if you ask Dall-E to depict a number of classic video game characters or elements, it’ll show itself to be surprisingly clueless. Here’s what I got from it:
“Mario” here is pretty good. His cultural ubiquity is inescapable.“Mario” again. Why the big M?That M again, and a medkit. That triangle in his teeth disturbs and dismays.Why is Mario always carrying things?“Pac-Man maze” is pretty bad. None of them even has the classic colors.The compugremlins siad, let’s just plaster Pac-Man on it and call it a day.“Pac-Man maze” More like pie-chart manPac-Man is either eating a pizza, or the planet Mars“Q*bert pyramid” is pretty bad in all its forms.At least it got right the idea it was supposed to be depicting geometric shapes.I have no idea where it got “ARETT”The worst “Q*bert pyramid.”This is supposed to be “Q*bert” himself.Also “Q*bert.” This has to be intentional, like they scrubbed all images of the ‘bert from its data.“Q*bert,” imagined I guess as an advertising mascot for a particularly unsatisfying brand of cracker.This “Q*bert” could be interpreted as a video game character, but it’s definitely not Q*bert.“Donkey Kong” consistently produced the worst results. All of them donkeys, none of them monkeys. This one’s an alcoholic.“Donkey Kong.” They could scrub their input of all DK images, but not Getty’s image collection?The least-chosen Warhammer 40K figure.Also, somehow, “Donkey Kong.”“Atari Centipede” is a centipede with a microchip theme, four times in a row.That’s kind of disturbing.Maybe slightly better?Centipede, or fish bones?“Pac-Man” here is pretty disturbing.“Pac-Man,” facing forwardThe worst “Pac-Man” result. How does it even?And “Pac-Man” once more, imagined as a beetle cyclops staring myopically at a pair of conjoined jellybeans.This is what I got for entering my description of that previous item. It’s not a cyclops, and the jellybeans aren’t conjoined, but it’s recognizably a beetle at least.
From 2016 comes Pac-Pac, a Pac-Man style arcade game for an unusual platform: the Commodore Plus/4!
The Commodore 64 was famously intended to be a family computer that could also play games. The Plus/4 was intended as more of a business machine, without hardware sprites or the 64’s capable sound chip. It still had 64K of RAM though, and some productivity software included built-into the system in ROM. It could also output more colors than the C64, was clocked at a higher speed, and had a simpler design with fewer chips.
Still though, the lack of hardware sprites was a big limiter for games, which remained a driving factor for microcomputer adoption. Having no sprites, in Pac-Pac, the player’s surrogate character and the ghosts are both drawn on-screen in software, which consumes a lot of processor time. The game still runs at a decent rate though, and is fairly fun to play.
It’s best not to play Pac-Pac like Pac-Man. Despite a superficial resemblance it’s much the different game. The ghosts don’t have different personalities, and don’t coast confidently through the maze, but jitter about uncertainly, and randomly. This makes them generally easier to avoid, but it also means they’re prone to camping in the vicinity of uneaten dots. You’ll find you’ll have to lure them away from the last dots in the maze to get to them safely. You’re more likely to lose a Pac from daring their presence a little too closely.
Unlike Pac-Man there are no energizers, so there’s no way to attack the monsters yourself. On later boards the ghosts slowly get more aggressive, and they move faster. There’s also a timer to force you to go after dots. Eating randomly-appearing fruit replenishes the timer by a bit. There are also Question Mark items that appear in the maze, that can produce good or bad effects. They’re usually good though. The only ways to earn extra lives are by earning 5,000 hard-won points or, occasionally, from a Question Mark.
To play it you’ll probably need an emulator, such as the one from WinVICE. RetroArch can play it with its xplus4 core, which comes from the VICE project.
I am informed that the author of Pac-Pac, Skoro, passed away earlier this year. He made a plethora of work for the Plus/4, as shown by his page on Commodore Plus/4 World, from 2019 to all the way back in 1988. 31 years is a good long while, and I hope that the fruits of his labor will be enjoyed for decades to come.
Playing the Super Mario Bros. theme live with a variety of instruments has been an internet video staple for a couple decades now. Here it is with accordion and a harp-like instrument called a bandura:
Thanks to Kevin Rothrock for finding this, and to Maks for finding it on Youtube!
Ultima Online is a wonder. World of Warcraft debuted in 2004; Ultima Online started in 1997. And it’s still going!
When it was new podcasts were not yet a thing! Podcasts arose from the fusion of periodic MP3 audio content and RSS feeds, in October 2000. Yet when UO was new there was an audio show called Battle Vortex that covered it. So we can’t call it an Ultima Online podcast, because those didn’t exist then, but it was a whole lot like one.
Battle Vortex had been gone from the internet for awhile, but now the whole show, 156 episodes, has been uploaded to the Internet Archive! It is a priceless snapshot of the early days of MMORPGs, and it’s heartening to see it housed someplace that will preserve it.
On Romhack Thursdays, we bring you interesting finds from the world of game modifications.
The world of romhacks ranges far and wide, from dumb graphics hacks that put Wilford Brimley in place of Mario to full games that are unrecognizable from the software they were made from. We usually try to focus on more substantive fare, but today we present three hacks that mostly leave Mario 64 unchanged, except for giving the overall-wearing movie star a rest in favor of one of three understudies.
Super Cream 64
In the case of Super Cream 64, it feels like there’s enough to go by despite the core game, in most senses, being the same as Super Mario 64.
Saying that it’s a simple character swap is both dead accurate and wildly understating the effort that went into this. Nearly all the characters have new models, and there’s a few more in there as well. Mario has been replaced with Cream the Rabbit from (a couple of) the Sonic the Hedgehog games. Cream’s one of those characters that barely got any main game appearances before being relegated to the likes of guest roles in kart racers, so unless you’re as soaked in the deep Sonic lore, as I appear to be, you might never have heard of her, or Cheese, a Chao that follows her around (don’t ask me what a Chao is, I could tell you but the answer would probably not be useful to you) her mother Vanilla, or her friend Blaze the Cat, who are also in this hack. You may know of Amy Rose, who’s also here.
That’s Amy, right there.
There are some play differences. Somehow Cream can fly, kind of, in a gliding sort of way, which makes the game a little bit easier. A small number of areas have been changed. But mostly this is a game for people who haven’t gotten their fill of Super Mario 64 already, and who want to play it as a different character. It’s almost as light and fluffy as its protagonist, but it’s evident that a lot of care has gone into it.
Here’s a bit of gameplay to show you what it’s about:
Super Cream 64 came to my attention when a friend was putting together a console-playable copy of it for her Sonic-obsessed kid. It’s amiable and mostly harmless. I can’t say it’s my usual kind of thing (the game itself really is mostly Mario 64, and Cream is a little too cutesy for me), but maybe it’s more to the taste of some of you out there?
This post started out being just about SC64, but here’s a couple of other character replacements that may be amusing, for a few minutes at least.
Captain Falcon 64
Excepting his appearances in Super Smash Bros. games, Captain Falcon is rarely playable on foot. Captain Falcon 64 suggests a run style and moveset that’s pretty much how one would imagine he’d play in an officially-made 3D platformer.
Super Mario 64: Sonic Edition
The logical intersection between Cream 64 and Falcon 64 would, of course, be Sonic 64. He’s even faster, and harder to control, than Captain Falcon. There are some gameplay changes here, including the ability to become Super Sonic, but I couldn’t tell you how. Maybe explore it yourself and see if you can figure it out.
Yahtzee is Ben Croshaw, the guy who has been making The Escapist’s Zero Punctuation for going on 16 years now. He’s the last vestive of the version of The Escapist before they went in on Gamergate, which it seems like he managed to weather by staying in his lane. While his videos aren’t the pass-around fodder that they used to, it’s kind of comforting sometimes that he’s still around, offering his highly opinionated and profane takes on video game-related things.
Croshaw’s videos cover a very mainstream-populist, triple-A beat that does not often intersect with ours, and frankly often puts me at odds with his opinions. But once in a while he covers a topic that sort of intersects with one of our remits or Retro, Indie or Niche. That’s what we present here today: three times in recent memory that he covered something we generally care about.
Metroid Prime Remastered (generally dismissive)
Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope (unexpectedly positive)
Sonic Frontiers (says there’s a couple of good ideas that it then ruined)
St1ka is an interesting Youtuber from Portugal who often covers the Brazilian gaming beats. I should link to him more often when he does videos on his standard beat, as the gaming scenes outside of the US, Europe and Japan don’t get nearly as much exposure as they should.
This time though he is looking at retro gaming with a more general focus, pointing out interesting titles from decades past. They’re not making nearly as many 8-bit titles as they used to, so finding a cool old game you’ve never tried is almost as good as if they were making them now!
The games covered are:
Konami’s Getsu Fuuma Den, Japanese horror for the Famicom,
Rod Land, a single-screen arcade platformer with a good Famicom port,
Kickmaster, a deep combat action game for the NES,
Lunar: Walking School for Game Gear, a Game Arts-produced spinoff JRPG of the main Lunar series that doesn’t have much to do with its origin, and has a happy slice-of-life anime feel,
Psychic World for the Sega Master System, a neglected platformer where you pick up magic-like powers as you progress, which got a Game Gear port with unexpected differences, and both deriving from a Japan-only MSX version with its own differences,
Power Blade and Power Blade 2 for the NES, and the Japanese version of the first one, Power Blazer, stylish action platformers akin to Mega Man, but staring an Arnold Schwarzenegger clone who wields boomerangs, except in Japan where you play as a serious-looking little kid,
Cave Noire, a roguelite game for Game Boy that I’ve written about in the past, and personally vouch for,
Daikatana for Game Boy Color, a 2D and rather improved version of the infamous 3D PC game,
Power Strike II for the SMS, or its Game Gear remake that’s completely different, but they’re Compile shooters so you know they’re going to be awesome, and really you can’t go wrong with any Power Strike/Aleste game, or ZANAC or The Guardian Legend on NES come to mention it,
Queen Fighters 2000, a bootleg game for Gameboy Color that outright cribs the style from Gals Fighter for NeoGeo Pocket Color, but also includes a bunch of random characters from other properties for the hell of it, since being a bootleg game anyway why not,
Aliens Neoplasma is a 2019 release for the Spectrum that makes excellent use of that system’s graphical quirks to increase the game’s atmosphere,
the action RPG Dark Arms for the NeoGeo Pocket Color,
early survival RPG Survival Kids for the Game Boy Color,
Phantis, a cross-genre sci-fi game for the Spectrum,
Shatterhand for the NES, which feels inspired by Batman on the same system, and
Kabuki Quantum Fighter, also for the NES, which also seems inspired by Batman in its play style, and was also developed by Hal Laboratory.
If blogging is ever going to come back from its loss to social media, it’s going to have to be from going more social itself. By that I mean links between blogs, making it easier to surface sites to others. Not only directly, but by helping to raise each other’s Google rank, although I think time has shown that Google is a fickle friend to people producing material for the Web, any site prominence you gain can easily be wiped away the next time they change their algorithm. Bigsites naturally get traffic just from being established, and other sites try to become big by gaming their placement with hyper artificial SEO techniques. Meanwhile us littlesites have to succeed largely by being interesting and direct views, as well as what traffic we can gather through followers through RSS, social media, Patreon and other sources. And there’s no reason not to help each other out. We’re not in competition between us. Any cross link, wherever, strengthens us all.
Here’s one from me. Retro365 has a vast collection of gaming media from the earlier days of home computing, and has been going for about three years now. They’ve got lots of demonstrated software on their Youtube channel. If you have an interest in learning about, or just seeing this stuff, they’ve got plenty for you.
Here’s a few choice items from their channel. There’s the classic CGA DOS game Paratrooper (the player doesn’t last long, only a minute):
Dungeon! for Apple II, published by TSR themselves in 1982 (32 minutes):
Oil’s Well for the Atari 400 and 800, a variant of the arcade game Anteater (8 minutes):
And a complete playthrough of comedy adventure game classic Sam & Max Hit the Road for PC (an hour and 47 minutes):
We’re still searching for old game info sites that are still up in 2023. Another couple of use are Video Game Maps, last updated in 2007 but still available, and Revned’s Video Game Maps, which saw its last edit in 2016, but is mirrored on Github.
It feels, to me, like this is what the World Wide Web should look like, flat, static HTML pages with sidebars and hyperlinks. A thing of beauty.
For the past 20 years it’s felt like any game information you could ever hope to find is out there on the World Wide Web, somewhere, but as both the people who grew up playing these games grow old, and the drive and motivation to start and maintain websites has diminished with the popularity of social media, this is increasingly no longer the case. Sometimes you can find vanished websites on the Wayback Machine, but it’s a lot harder to find things there, Wayback often misses images, their web archives are often incomplete, and server-side scripts are broken by archiving so dynamic content is usually dead, the page contents locked in the state it was at when the time of archival.
I’ve banged this drum a lot lately it feels like, but I have to reemphasize that the internet is not forever, and as Ryan North has told us lately, even the most popular website in the world is one missed bill from disappearing, probably forever. As this happens more and more often, big and well-funded content hosts like Fandom and Github persist, while smaller, independent information sources tend to fall away, which results in a rich-get-richer feedback loop. Independent sources of accurate information are so important, no matter the subject. It is difficult to fault anyone unwilling to keep content up and updated for a large portion of their lives, but whenever it happens, I appreciate it.
Before the death of Flash, their Zelda map used it to provide an interactive browsing experience that is sadly defunct now. This PNG version is still great, though.
So I’ve been trying to celebrate the best, most long-lived websites out there, and NES Maps, and its sister site SNES Maps, qualifies, going back to around 2006. That’s 17 years! And it’s still there, quietly providing maps of just about any NES game you might want to find information on.
It’s not perfect. Their labeled maps of Castlevania III, I discovered just now, are incomplete, cutting off after Block 5, promising that more is coming soon for who knows how many years. But most other games have complete maps, including a number of Japanese-only title. It’s truly a great resource, and I hope they can figure out a way to keep it going for the long term.
Aah that’s a screen I haven’t seen in a long long time.
1982 saw the founding of the Apple II computer magazine-on-disk Softdisk. Soon after Softdisk Publishing produced disks for other home computers too. One of them, Big Blue Disk, has gone down in history as previous employer of some of the original principals of id Software, especially John Carmack and John Romero. But another of Softdisk’s legacies was their Commodore 64 product, Loadstar, probably the longest-lived Commodore 64 software publisher. They published C64 software from 1984 to 2007. And most, if not all, of it is available online!
Loadstar is yet another of those computer gaming stories that must be told, and I’m in a pretty good place to tell some of it, because I beta tested for them for many of those years, and sold programs to them as well. Yes, several of their releases bear the programmer name John “The Mad Gamer” Harris. You have to understand, this was long before the word gamer reached common usage. In fact, as someone who may have primacy over the use of the term, I hereby forbid its use by anyone with misogynistic, anti-trans or racist intent. It is so decreed, hey-nonny-nonny!
Loadstar was lots of fun. Every month they’d send you two disks in the mail with several new pieces of Commodore 64 software on it. Under the watchful eyes of Fender Tucker and Jeff Jones, and later on Dave Moorman, it’s not that they grew an empire of Commodore programs, but they did manage to sustain that platform for a small but avid userbase for far longer than you’d have thought possible.
I plan to start doing Loadstar reviews eventually, but in the meantime, you can try out some of the later issues of this important piece of computing history at the site linked below. Note that you’ll have to have a means of running C64 software to use them, of course. The emulator VICE is known to work well. And if you want to hear the words of Fender, Jeff or Dave yourself, all three are on Facebook.
On Romhack Thursdays, we bring you interesting finds from the world of game modifications.
There was a period during the 8-bit era where games best known for being on the NES could get ports to other machines. Most of the ports we got in the US and Europe were not that great. There were a fair number of classic NES games with lackluster home computer adaptions. Even the best of these, like Mighty Bomb Jack, Castlevania and Life Force for the Commodore 64, usually paled compared to their NES counterparts.
I put the blame for this on the cartridge format. While a much more expensive media for releasing software than disks or tapes, it had the great advantage of being enormously flexible. The whole phenomena of mapper chips and other in-cart add-on hardware on the NES had no counterpart on the C64 during its heyday, even though there was really no reason the ’64 couldn’t use the same kinds of chips that the NES used.
Things were a little different in Japan on their native microcomputer platforms. While anemic ports were certainly possible there (like the infamous Super Mario Bros. Special) a fair number of console games got pretty good computer ports. Many of the best of these were for the Sharp X68000, a system I really must cover in detail soon, but the MSX platform got a fair number, many due to the efforts of Konami.
Both Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy for MSX ports with their own unique properties. Today’s post is about Final Fantasy, which recently got an English translation, and which in play and structure resembles its NES original to a large degree. It’s even a slight upgrade, with more colors in its characters and able to make use of an MSX sound expansion cartridge for improved music.
The game was reimplemented from the ground up, so it’s even missing many of the bugs that the Famicom original, forged out of raw bytecode as it was by consummate hacker Nasir Gebelli, is known to have. It would probably be the definitive early version of Final Fantasy if it didn’t play painfully slowly. You can’t see it in these screenshots, but instead of the world sliding smoothly across the screen as on the NES the terrain snaps by in eight pixel steps, and your party also walks more slowly than on Nintendo’s machine. And while it’s not as bad as loading times in the Playstation 1 Final Fantasy games, the game still lingers on a blank screen for several seconds when fights begin and end, which will drive you nuts before long.
The English translation patch that FCandChill put together basically just uses the NES game’s script, so no surprises there. These days games in the style of those early JRPGs are quite out of style, but if you still have a hankering to play a game that basically demands that you grind out levels to have a chance and where you will almost certainly total party wipe at least once during your run, you could do worse.
